Raise your hand if you like to do laundry. I see one...two hands...Just two? Yep, and that includes mine. There I said it. I like to do laundry. Correction. I love to do laundry. I love to take my stinky clothes and make them clean and smelling good again. I love that I can choose between different scents. I can either pretend I'm in a tropical paradise, or I can take a whiff of another scent and be lying in a field of daisies. Putting on my clean, good-smelling clothes is like giving myself a hug and makes me smile. I love to hang up my nicer blouses in the bathroom so the clean scent permeates the whole area and makes me feel clean and happy. On the other hand, there's nothing like ripe under drawers to stink up a laundry basket and curl the hairs on the inside of your nose and make your eyes water and possibly initiate your gag reflex. You get enough stinky under drawers, and then you've got a totally rank smelling room wherever the laundry basket may reside. That kind of stink will make a dog turn tail and run...fast!
Even though I do enjoy doing laundry, I guess I should clarify that by saying I love doing laundry AT HOME. Doing laundry outside of my home is a different story. I absolutely abhor/hate/despise/loathe having to do laundry OUTSIDE OF MY HOME!!!! It's such a royal pain in the ass. I'd rather take it down to the creek and beat it against a rock rather than having to load it all up, get it in the car including the accouterments of laundry soap, fabric softener, dryer sheets, and hangers. Then it has to be unloaded when you get to the laundry mat and hopefully find enough washers for all the laundry you've filled the car with. Then there's the quarters. Oh the nuisance! If you don't have enough quarters, you have to make sure to get cash so you can get quarters from the coin machine. That is, if it's working. If not, there comes the fun of tracking down a human who manages the laundry mat to get change. Then there's the condition of the laundry mat itself. Is it clean? Who washed their clothes in there before me? What horrible, nasty disease did they leave behind for me to get? Why are all these kids running around and playing on the folding tables and jumping in and out of the rolling baskets? And why, for God's sake, aren't any of the parents watching their kids??? Ew!!!! When is the last time their parents wiped their noses or gave them a bath? GROSS! Why isn't that child wearing any shoes? Then there's the issue of how clean the floor is. If you don't really want to know, don't look down. Oh Lord! I just want to grab my clothes and leave, but that's not an option when they're still swirling around in the sudsy water getting all clean, remember? So I wait patiently while they finish...all 10 loads at once mind you...only to have anxiety over the next step...finding enough dryers....and hoping they're all together for the 10 loads of laundry I broke my back bringing into the laundry mat. Honestly, I don't mean to poo poo on laundry mats. Not all of them are nasty, but in my experience, most of them are not winning any cleanliness awards. I have, however, seen some that were consistently run by present, hard-working managers/owners. If I had it my way, I'd do my laundry in the nude, but the general public may take issue with that. Another reason why I prefer to do my laundry AT HOME. Then again, my family nor my neighbors want to witness my nakedness either. Go figure.
Then there's the matter of personal safety. Probably the creepiest time I had at the laundry mat was once when I was by myself, and this man entered my comfort zone bubble. I was transferring my clothes from the washer to the dryer when all of a sudden, he was just there...in my close personal space. I think I could smell what he had for lunch the previous Tuesday. This particular day was the next Friday. He was polite but too close. He just sent out that vibe, ya know? He wanted to know my name so I told him, and while I expected a handshake, he proceeded to pat me on the back. Sweet but still creepy. I didn't know him, and he was too close for comfort. While I waited for my clothes to dry and silently wishing I had brought my son with me, I remained standing till my clothes were done drying. I was scared to sit down. Besides, there wasn't a spare seat in sight. Every time I looked at Mr. Pat-Me-On-The-Back, he was staring straight at me and gesturing for me to come sit next to him. Uh, no thanks, even though my knees and back were killing me. Still, I didn't feel he was a threat, but it was creepy. Maybe he was being friendly. Maybe he was slicing and dicing me in his mind for later. I just know that when my clothes were dry, I wasn't wasting any time folding them that day. They were getting tossed into baskets and taken home to be folded.
After that visit, that's what I pretty much did whether I felt comfortable there or not. So many times I'd see kids with dirty feet, hands, and faces play all over those folding tables. What's the point in me washing my clothes to get some kid's snot all over them? Too, I've never been too fond of folding my big granny panties in front of other people. I kinda felt embarrassed for anyone to see my tent-sized under drawers, especially my red and white striped ones that I jokingly refer to as my "Where's Waldo" under drawers. They seriously look like the background for Where's Waldo, but I digress....
After all that washing and drying and excitement of interesting people you can meet, then there's the joy of loading it all up again and taking it home to bring it inside to fold it and put it all away...all 10 loads mind you. *sigh*
So, yeah, laundry is a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. Those stinky "Where's Waldo?" under drawers aren't going to wash themselves.
Even though I do enjoy doing laundry, I guess I should clarify that by saying I love doing laundry AT HOME. Doing laundry outside of my home is a different story. I absolutely abhor/hate/despise/loathe having to do laundry OUTSIDE OF MY HOME!!!! It's such a royal pain in the ass. I'd rather take it down to the creek and beat it against a rock rather than having to load it all up, get it in the car including the accouterments of laundry soap, fabric softener, dryer sheets, and hangers. Then it has to be unloaded when you get to the laundry mat and hopefully find enough washers for all the laundry you've filled the car with. Then there's the quarters. Oh the nuisance! If you don't have enough quarters, you have to make sure to get cash so you can get quarters from the coin machine. That is, if it's working. If not, there comes the fun of tracking down a human who manages the laundry mat to get change. Then there's the condition of the laundry mat itself. Is it clean? Who washed their clothes in there before me? What horrible, nasty disease did they leave behind for me to get? Why are all these kids running around and playing on the folding tables and jumping in and out of the rolling baskets? And why, for God's sake, aren't any of the parents watching their kids??? Ew!!!! When is the last time their parents wiped their noses or gave them a bath? GROSS! Why isn't that child wearing any shoes? Then there's the issue of how clean the floor is. If you don't really want to know, don't look down. Oh Lord! I just want to grab my clothes and leave, but that's not an option when they're still swirling around in the sudsy water getting all clean, remember? So I wait patiently while they finish...all 10 loads at once mind you...only to have anxiety over the next step...finding enough dryers....and hoping they're all together for the 10 loads of laundry I broke my back bringing into the laundry mat. Honestly, I don't mean to poo poo on laundry mats. Not all of them are nasty, but in my experience, most of them are not winning any cleanliness awards. I have, however, seen some that were consistently run by present, hard-working managers/owners. If I had it my way, I'd do my laundry in the nude, but the general public may take issue with that. Another reason why I prefer to do my laundry AT HOME. Then again, my family nor my neighbors want to witness my nakedness either. Go figure.
Then there's the matter of personal safety. Probably the creepiest time I had at the laundry mat was once when I was by myself, and this man entered my comfort zone bubble. I was transferring my clothes from the washer to the dryer when all of a sudden, he was just there...in my close personal space. I think I could smell what he had for lunch the previous Tuesday. This particular day was the next Friday. He was polite but too close. He just sent out that vibe, ya know? He wanted to know my name so I told him, and while I expected a handshake, he proceeded to pat me on the back. Sweet but still creepy. I didn't know him, and he was too close for comfort. While I waited for my clothes to dry and silently wishing I had brought my son with me, I remained standing till my clothes were done drying. I was scared to sit down. Besides, there wasn't a spare seat in sight. Every time I looked at Mr. Pat-Me-On-The-Back, he was staring straight at me and gesturing for me to come sit next to him. Uh, no thanks, even though my knees and back were killing me. Still, I didn't feel he was a threat, but it was creepy. Maybe he was being friendly. Maybe he was slicing and dicing me in his mind for later. I just know that when my clothes were dry, I wasn't wasting any time folding them that day. They were getting tossed into baskets and taken home to be folded.
After that visit, that's what I pretty much did whether I felt comfortable there or not. So many times I'd see kids with dirty feet, hands, and faces play all over those folding tables. What's the point in me washing my clothes to get some kid's snot all over them? Too, I've never been too fond of folding my big granny panties in front of other people. I kinda felt embarrassed for anyone to see my tent-sized under drawers, especially my red and white striped ones that I jokingly refer to as my "Where's Waldo" under drawers. They seriously look like the background for Where's Waldo, but I digress....
After all that washing and drying and excitement of interesting people you can meet, then there's the joy of loading it all up again and taking it home to bring it inside to fold it and put it all away...all 10 loads mind you. *sigh*
So, yeah, laundry is a dirty job, but somebody has to do it. Those stinky "Where's Waldo?" under drawers aren't going to wash themselves.
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